christmas

How to Christmas Market Like an Absolute Pro

Published 13:07 13 Dec 2024 GMT

Updated 17:01 13 Dec 2024 GMT

How to Christmas Market Like an Absolute Pro

This lil guide will arm you with the tips, tricks, and unapologetic indulgences necessary to Christmas market like a god damn pro.

Christmas markets are glorious winter wonderlands where mulled wine flows, pretzels are king, and everything sparkles like a Hallmark fever dream. You’ve probably heard about these festive extravaganzas from friends who won’t shut up about their annual pilgrimage to Berlin or Strasbourg. Maybe you’ve even been. These days you don’t need to squash your life into the increasingly small hand luggage Ryanair allows to Christmas Market like a boss. Dublin now is chock full of em.

But let’s face it—navigating a Christmas market without a strategic game plan can leave you cold, broke, and sticky with rogue glühwein. So let's go for it.

Santa hats are optional, but a devil-may-care attitude is not.

1. Dress the Part

Christmas Markets are nearly always outdoors and Dublin is hardly known for it’s balmy December weather so fit planning is essential. Layer up like a Nordic influencer about to battle a snowstorm (even if it’s just drizzling). Think statement coat, scarf that doubles as a blanket, and gloves designed for both warmth and wrapping your mitts around hot drinks. Shoes? They need to endure cobblestones, sticky beer spills, and your inevitable dash to catch a tram after one too many mugs of mulled wine. Bring a bag incase of break through sun so you can stow your layers and show off that 80s throwback P-Shirt should the opportunity arise.

Pro Tip: Leave your "fashion runners" at home. Nothing says “amateur” like soggy socks.

2. Mulled Wine

Mulled wine (or glühwein if you want to sound cultured) is the lifeblood of Christmas markets. It is the perfect way to kick off a day Chritmass-ing professionally. It’s festive, spicy, and keeps the slow creep of Dublin’s December damp coldness at bay. IF you’re not the designated driver then you don’t have to stop at just wine—branch out. Try the hot cider, boozy hot chocolate, or that sketchy herbal concoction from the stall run by a guy named Klaus who swears it’s “traditional.”

Pro Tip: The souvenir mugs are adorable until you’re hauling five of them home. Choose your keepsake wisely.

3. Carb Load

Christmas markets are a carb lover’s nirvana. You’ll find doughy pretzels bigger than your face, bratwurst nestled in crusty bread rolls, and raclette oozing over potatoes in ways that should require a PG-13 rating. Then there’s the sweet stuff: waffles, gingerbread, roasted chestnuts, and marzipan creations that look like they’re made out of Play-Doh. Remember to always try hit up the local food trucks first and foremost. Being a food trucker is a hard job of work and there are some really great locally owned and operated businesses using fresh ingredients that need your

Pro Tip: Pace yourself. This is not a sprint; it’s a marathon of gastronomic proportions. Alternate salty and sweet to maintain balance and ward off sugar comas.

4. Shop Local

Yes, the hand-blown glass ornaments are lovely, but they’re fragile and expensive, and do you really want to risk breaking them en route home? Instead, focus on unique finds: wool scarves, or that candle shaped like a reindeer that smells like cinnamon and existential joy. Skip the mass-produced tat that screams “Made in China” louder than your aunt after three sherries. Stick with the local artists and you’re not only gonna nab a ‘kewl’ gift for the loved one of your choice but you’ll be supporting the local economy. Bonus points if the ‘brontonas’ is as gaeilge.

Pro Tip: Bartering isn’t a thing at these markets. Accept the price, smile, and thank the stallholder for their handcrafted masterpiece and complain under your breath to your ma if you must. Or, you know, walk away.

5. Lights, Instagram, Action

The lights at a Christmas market are always a moment dahling. Every string of fairy lights, glowing wooden stall, and gigantic Christmas tree is practically begging to be immortalized on your Instagram. But tread carefully. There’s a fine line between capturing the magic and becoming That Person who blocks traffic for a selfie in front of a giant nutcracker. Remember everyone is just as entitled to be there as you, even if you don’t want them in your shot.

Pro Tip: The best photo ops are often in quieter corners or just as the market opens. Get your shot early, then put your phone away and bask in the glow IRL.

6. Know the History, Ignore the Nostalgia

Christmas markets like to market themselves (pun intended) as ancient traditions steeped in centuries-old customs. And while their roots do date back to medieval Europe, the glitzy, capitalist extravaganza we enjoy in Dublin is more a product of the last century. This doesn’t make it any less fun, but let’s not pretend you’re communing with your ancestors when buying churros and Nutella from a neon-lit stall.

Fun Fact: The Nazis co-opted Christmas markets in the 1930s as a nationalist spectacle. Awkward history? Yes. But understanding it makes sipping your glühwein feel vaguely intellectual.

7. Strategize

Bigger Christmas markets can be a logistical nightmare if you’re not prepared. Crowds surge, queues grow longer than Rapunzel's hair, and that one bratwurst stall you really wanted to try runs out of mustard. Plan your attack. Go early for a more relaxed vibe or late for a rowdier crowd. Whatever floats your boat. Map out the must-visit stalls, and always have an escape route in case you hit peak mulled wine fatigue.

Pro Tip: Avoid weekends unless you enjoy being shoulder-to-shoulder with strangers yelling Nollaig Shona Daoibh.

8. Ice Skating: Bí cúramach!

If there’s one thing Christmas markets love, it’s ice skating. Sure, it looks magical in movies, but in real life, it’s a chaotic rink of shrieking tourists and one guy who thinks he’s training for the Olympics. Hit the rink before the mulling of wine. Remember safety is sexy.

Pro Tip: After you’ve skated and mated with the ice find a bench, and people-watch with a hot whiskey in hand. It’s great craic.

9. The Joy of Being a Flâneur

Sometimes the best way to Christmas market is to not market at all. Instead of sprinting between stalls with a to-do list, try wandering aimlessly. Let the smell of roasted almonds guide you. Follow the sound of an accordion until you stumble upon a choir belting out carols. Soaking up the vibe—and maybe a little whiskey.

Pro Tip: Keep cash handy for spur-of-the-moment indulgences. Most pop up card machines are only as good as the wifi they run on and nothing kills festive joy like waiting for your card to go through for ten minutes while people get cranky behind you over a €4 strudel.

10. Apres-Market: Master the Aftermath

After hours of frosty frolicking, you’ll want to end your market adventure on a high note. Head to a cozy bar for a proper drink, or retreat to your gaff for a Netflix binge with your market haul. Revel in the warm glow of a day well spent—and the sweet satisfaction of being a Christmas market connoisseur.

Pro Tip: A cheeky bottle of Dublin Cocktail Lab’s mulled wine makes an excellent nightcap.